Very quick post during the workday. I made these last night for administrative professional’s day today (which no one knows about). They’re delicious, super rich and addictive and absolutely horrible for you. No baking involved- in fact, I used a plate, a plastic bag, and a meat tenderizer as my tools. Plus there’s only three ingredients.
Three ingredients: cream cheese, chocolate, andeo. Oops I mean OReo.
First you throw your oreos in a plastic bag and crush them with a meat tenderizer/hammer/your hands. You could also use a food processor or blender but who wants to clean those? Unless you were ALSO making an oreo milkshake at the time…
If Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were in my kitchen I wouldn’t even need the mallet for this to be Crush Hour.
Next, plop your cream cheese into the bag and smoosh it around with your hands. Again, this step could be done with a food processor, but smooshing is so much fun!
Don’t stop make it plop DJ pour that cream cheese in
Would a basketball-playing cow yell SMOOOOOOOOOSH when hitting nothing but net?
Then roll the resulting mixture into sticky balls, about an inch in diameter, and throw them in the freezer for a few minutes (I ate an artichoke in this time and it seemed about right).
You guys I’m having such a good time making these. You might even say I’m HAVING A BALL
Meanwhile, melt your chocolate. I used Baker’s semisweet because that’s what Kraft said to do, but anything will do: dark, white, whatever. It’s so easy to melt too: 30 seconds in the microwave, stir, 30 more seconds, stir. When it comes out after the second 30 seconds it’ll still be in those soft bricks, but just stir and the residual heat will melt it.
I think it’s been winter for too long: I’m going a little STIR crazy
Then roll your frozen oreo balls around in the chocolate, and throw them on some parchment paper to set. I also sprinkled some of mine with coconut.
I used a shallow bowl here, but if Adele were around I’d use a deeper one. Ah, we could have had it all.
Let’s think of champagne as ‘troubled water.’ Then these guys seem like a great thing to lay down in a fridge of troubled water
They’re ready to eat as soon as you want to eat them, though Kraft says to do it after an hour. THESE ARE SO DELICIOUS and so bad for you. There’s nothing good in them. And that’s why they’re so good.
“Recipe” adapted from the official Kraft one which looks like too much cream cheese:
Crush 28 Oreos in a plastic bag with a meat tenderizer/hammer/heavy bottle. Some people use hand mixers/food processors.
Smoosh in 4-6 oz cream cheese to your taste (I had some leftover from bagels so I’m not sure how much I used)
Form 1 inch balls and freeze for 10 minutes
Melt 6 oz semi-sweet or white chocolate, and roll each ball in the chocolate. Lay out on parchment paper.
Refrigerate for an hour or as long as you want to.
Baking and Math 
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