I started to write an email to a friend of mine but it reeked of “you are a member of a marginalized group therefore you represent that entire group and must feel a certain prescribed way that I, as a not-member of that group, believe that you should feel.” The number one advice I read about acting as a good ally is to listen and make room for marginalized groups’ voices instead of centering yourself. If you haven’t heard of the term “white tears” I suggest you look it up maybe using one of those three helpful links I’ve included in this sentence! Essentially, if something bad is happening to someone else, the scene should not be about you and your feelings. I sat down to write a blog post about Orlando, but I don’t want to talk about my feelings too much, so I’ll take this space to let others speak.
A major theme is that the location of the shooting matters, and that gay clubs provide a community space rather than “just” a place to go out at night:
Fifty people were killed, and as many more wounded, in their home. Maybe their only safe place in the world. By someone who didn’t think there should be any safe place in the world for them, because of who they were, because of who they loved.
–Facebook note by Els Kushner about being a “middle-aged librarian” and still connecting to the community that this nightclub represents
Pulse wasn’t just about drinks and dancing—it was a place that invested in its community. Although the LGBTQ+ community in Orlando is large, the reality is that Orlando is still in the South, and the hate these individuals have to face every day requires a place like Pulse to exist.
–Personal essay by Daniel Leon-Davis on Fusion, about being a member of that community
Gay bars are therapy for people who can’t afford therapy; temples for people who lost their religion, or whose religion lost them; vacations for people who can’t go on vacation; homes for folk without families; sanctuaries against aggression.
–Ultimately hopeful article by Richard Kim on the Nation, about his own awakening as to what gay clubs mean.
Another theme is just grief, which I’ve heard described as “the purest pain.”
I think of the chimp, the one with the talking hands.
In the course of the experiment, that chimp had a baby. Imagine how her trainers must have thrilled when the mother, without prompting, began to sign her newborn.
Baby, drink milk.
Baby, play ball.
And when the baby died, the mother stood over the body, her wrinkled hands moving with animal grace, forming again and again the words: Baby, come hug, Baby come hug, fluent now in the language of grief.
-Excerpt from a separate short story, which is quoted over on Jezebel<–this is an article just made for comments, to create a safe space to share feelings and thoughts. Another open thread is available at Autostraddle.
And finally, intersectionality and a call to arms.
We need our allies to step forward. Give your money and your microphones to queer and trans people, especially to the trans women of color who face the greatest risks and have been the leaders of our movements for decades. Demand accountability from your politicians, law enforcement officials and neighbors who believe no one is watching as they perpetuate discrimination and violence. Remember that LGBTQ people of color are nearly twice as likely to be victims of violence. After this attack on a space that prioritized the safety and community of black and Latinx queers, it is even more important to make sure our efforts center on people of color.
-A column by Audrey White over at the Dallas News
It should be noted that this attack to a black and Latinx-friendly gay club happened both during Ramadan and Pride Month. So I also wanted to include a personal essay by a gay Muslim writer, but I’m having a tough time finding something (let me know if you find something!) Instead here’s a bit of a video interview with a gay imam, which mostly focuses on media coverage:
One of the issues I think is very important, in many communities of color, there’s a stigma about mental health. And in my pastoral counseling that I provide to not only LGBT Muslims, but also young Muslims, interfaith couples, older Muslims who are now in a different culture, we find that the shaming that comes from acknowledging that one may have some issues that may relate to mental health, often people are not willing to go and seek additional help because of that shaming or that cultural stigma that’s associated with it.
I’m having troubles with my computer so I haven’t actually watched this video by a St. Louis imam, but it’s supposed to be nice.
Here are events happening in your town. Here is where you can donate to the victims and the victims’ families, via Equality Florida. You can also donate to the crisis counseling center, via the GLBT Community Center for central Florida.
I’m sorry that we live in this hateful society. All of me boils with wanting to act, to change the system, to do something, and my heart breaks in the face of overwhelming loss. The media started saying “act of terror” very quickly (which I don’t like b/c racism-Islamophobia), and it’s also got a kernel of truth to it: that terrorism is random violence meant to intimidate us from living unafraid and joyful lives. I like the title of Richard Kim’s article cited above: Please don’t stop the music. Living joyfully, building community, speaking up, calling people in- I really believe this is the best way for everyday people to fight against these dark forces. Also donate blood if you can. And, yknow, give people hugs. And call your family (biological or chosen) and tell them you love them.