Defended! Also, 29 silly Wonder Woman questions

Last week I defended my thesis at UIC!  Here’s a photo that my adviser took directly after the defense:

This champagne was REALLY GOOD

I’d say aaaah, I get to relax now, but I still have a two month old baby and a house to sell and edits to make on my thesis which I have to submit.  Also I’d like to publish a(nother) paper out of it, just for fun.  Also my toddler got strep the day after defense so our Chicago vacation was mostly hugging a feverish kid and feeding him jello.  And my mom went back home (she’d been living with us since baby was born, which helped me finish up thesis).  But besides all that, aaaaaah, I’m done!

Also I was nervous but the defense was fun!  Committee asked me questions after but didn’t feel like a test, just that they were curious about my work.  We had a big party that night with barbecue I brought from Texas and some of them came!

After my spouse and I watched Wonder Woman (hahaha no movies for us for a while now that my mom is back home), we both couldn’t sleep because we were so riled up and upset.  I’ll say it now: I think it was silly and if you like Zach Snyder films/don’t expect it to be deep or feminist, you’ll enjoy it.  And at least it’s A step in the right direction…I just wish Marvel or Disney had made it and it was feminist and intersectional.  I have some questions (some are serious) and I’d love it if y’all could answer any of them.  SO MANY SPOILERS and also SO MUCH COMPLAINING so feel free to stop reading now.

1. Why does Hippolyta say “the stronger she gets, the sooner he’ll find her” and “the more she knows, the sooner he’ll find her”?  Like she definitely just finds him when she is not that strong and doesn’t know that much…
2. Why does Hippolyta snap at Diana “you’re not an Amazon!”
3. What are the Amazons training for all the time, if they aren’t planning on heading back out into the world?
4. Maybe I’m not good at reading facial expressions.  What’s going on when Diana unleashes her god power on Antiope?  Antiope is like no go away (why?) and all the Amazons stare at Diana (some kind of message is in this scene but I don’t know what it is).
5. Does Diana realize anything about her god power when she does that wristlet thing?  What’s going on in her head?
6. Why does Hippolyta tell Diana that she can never come back?  Steve and those German dudes all seemed to find Themyscira just fine.
7. Not a question I just loved the dialogue in the boat about sleeping together.  That’s got the O.C./Sex and the City/Grey’s Anatomy written all over it.   Let’s have this person write all the dialogue.
8. Where does Wonder Woman’s outfit come from (versus the simple leather thing she had on the island, and the suit she buys with Etta)?  [I’m totally okay with this magical outfit appearing I’m just including it for completeness.]
9. Why would Diana give her sword and shield (2 of 3 most valuable Amazon treasures) to Etta whom she just met?
10. Why doesn’t Steve let her go hang out with the baby?  Babies!  Why am I asking if a man “lets” Wonder Woman do anything?
11. Why does Diana follow Steve around London when the baddies are following them?  Her physical obedience to him in general is confusing given how often she verbally questions him.
12. Clearly Diana is winning the fight with the baddies, so why give the slow motion effect to a wimpy Steve punch?
13. Another not question: I love the line “there’s a woman in here” and everyone shuts up.  Quite funny.
14. WHY DOES STEVE RIP THE BOOK OUT OF DIANA’S HAND THAT SHE IS TRANSLATING???? WHY DOESN’T SHE FINISH TRANSLATING IT????? She’s the only person who can, it has vital enemy information, and zero percent does anyone care??????????  This drives me nuts.  Knowledge is powerful too, not just rushing off and fighting.
15. In the bar Samir makes a joke about an island full of women who look like Diana.  But wouldn’t you be terrified of going to a mysterious island full of one gender which is not yours?  Like 95% sure you would die.
16. Why doesn’t Diana help the horse?  It would take her 5 seconds but they tell her that she has to keep moving?
17. Why does Dr. Poison not talk?  She’s supposed to be a big baddie right?  What’s her story?  And what’s up with the mask?  She has a scar on her face, so what?  I was hoping she’d look like Two-Face from Batman but instead she’s just a beautiful person with a scar.
18. More on Dr. Poison- is the idea that Steve is flirting with her and then she gets real jealous when he looks at Diana?  That seems… dumb.  Women don’t just exist relative to men, but maybe the (all-male) writing team doesn’t know that.
19. What’s the deal with the strength gas?  It makes a mortal as strong as a god?   Dr. Poison should be selling that!  Or at least giving it to the troops.  Or herself.
20. Why is Charlie in the party?  I’m confused by his whole character, a sharpshooter who can’t shoot.  I think he’s there to show some aspect of Diana’s character development, but what aspect I cannot say- she already looked at the soldiers coming back from the front with sad eyes.
21. Speaking of the party, quibble, why no women?  There were definitely women in WWI and also this is a fictional universe…
22. What are the rules to Diana’s jumping?  Why do the dudes need to hold up a piece of metal for her to jump off of?
23. What does Diana see in Steve?  I see a guy who interrupts her all the time and refuses to explain anything to her or answer her questions.  Not sexy.  That said, sex is fun so I’m totally down with her being like oh let’s try a fun thing!  Actual dialogue in my house: “Would you like to have sex?” “You could be more subtle, honey” “No, no I cannot.  Subtlety is not some magical thing that women are born with.”  She gives him the “bedroom eyes” but why would she know about those [I’m saying they are cultural rather than innate].
24. Okay so I’m down with the sex, but why does she “love” this dude?  Enough to realize her god-powers.
25. Why doesn’t D kill L at High Command?  See 11 and 20.
26. Also what are the rules for god powers?  Ares killed all the gods, Diana is the god-killer, they have a big old fight but I’m not sure what’s possible and what’s not so the fight is nonsensical.
27. Why is killing Dr. Poison a test?  Diana has definitely killed dozens of soldiers during this movie.  Are their lives worth less than the mastermind?
28. What’s the symbolism/message of Dr. Poison’s mask falling off?  Are “ugly” people sad and pathetic or whatever Ares says in that monologue?
29. Why no women writers?  I like the woman director but the script… I watched this movie two weeks ago and am only now not irked (writing this list-rant  has been very therapeutic thanks blog!)