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School segregation, pt 1: grappling with our racism

26 Jul

I’ve been trying to get this post out for a month and finally have decided that I’ll break it up into mini-posts in order to publish anything at all.  Yes, I finished my thesis and packed my house, but my mom was here to help with the kids during that time.  Now that thesis is done, mom is back in California, and it’s just me and kids and house-selling.  Mostly the kids part is what takes up my time and energy.  But they’re so cute!  Here’s a pic of me and baby napping on an air mattress during a trip to my brothers’ house.IMG_3825

We went on a house hunting trip to Charlotte, NC, where we’re moving at the end of the summer.  When my spouse was in high school there, Charlotte public schools were still integrated.  But in 2001, mandatory busing was ruled down, and now Charlotte schools are again segregated neighborhood schools (because housing is segregated/there are segregated neighborhoods): here’s the article summing this up.  As we looked at houses, we also looked at what schools they were zoned into, and the makeup of those schools.  I was amazed looking at greatschools.com how very close to 100% black and 100% white schools there are.  Public schooling is really important to us (we both went to public schools, and ideologically we believe in them), but when we consider school zones when choosing a house, are we being racist?  By which I mean, are we perpetuating structural inequalities based on race?  I think so!

We read the NYT Magazine article a few years ago about choosing a school in a segregated city, and the following quote is from a follow-up NPR interview:

 “It is important to understand that the inequality we see, school segregation, is both structural, it is systemic, but it’s also upheld by individual choices,” she says. “As long as individual parents continue to make choices that only benefit their own children … we’re not going to see a change.”

There’s a new, controversial book out called Dream Hoarders, which has as a thesis that the top 20% of Americans by income “hoard” resources etc. for their children and hence hurt the American Dream of upward mobility for anyone.  They also made a cute little game explaining it, here.  And here’s an excerpt from the book if you want more.

An excerpt from the excerpt:

There is clear danger of a vicious cycle developing here. As inequality between the upper middle class and the rest grows, parents will become more determined to ensure their children stay near the top. We will work hard to put a “glass floor” under them, to prevent them from falling down the chutes. Inequality and immobility thus become self-reinforcing.

Downward mobility is not a wildly popular idea, to say the least. But it is a stubborn mathematical fact that, at any given time, the top fifth of the income distribution can accommodate only 20 percent of the population. Relative intergenerational mobility is necessarily a zero-sum game. For one person to move up the ladder, somebody else must move down. Sometimes that will have to be one of our own children. Otherwise the glass floor protecting affluent kids from falling acts also as a glass ceiling, blocking upward mobility for those born on a lower rung of the ladder. The problem we face is not just class separation, but class perpetuation.

So so far we have two different but very related topics that are affected by my individual choice of where to buy a house and send my kids to school: perpetuating class inequality, and perpetuating racial segregation.  When it comes down to it, of  course we try to choose the “best” fit for our kids, but we need to really explore and come to terms with what we mean by “best.”  Do we mean best test scores?  Because those correlate with family income.  Do we mean best teachers?  How do we put a metric on teachers?  How do we put a metric on schools at all?

In this series I’ll write posts about how we address the two topics (sneak peak: we will do so by trying to mitigate our effects as gentrifiers in the neighborhoods we choose).  And I’ll post pictures of my kids!

Defended! Also, 29 silly Wonder Woman questions

15 Jun

Last week I defended my thesis at UIC!  Here’s a photo that my adviser took directly after the defense:

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This champagne was REALLY GOOD

I’d say aaaah, I get to relax now, but I still have a two month old baby and a house to sell and edits to make on my thesis which I have to submit.  Also I’d like to publish a(nother) paper out of it, just for fun.  Also my toddler got strep the day after defense so our Chicago vacation was mostly hugging a feverish kid and feeding him jello.  And my mom went back home (she’d been living with us since baby was born, which helped me finish up thesis).  But besides all that, aaaaaah, I’m done!

Also I was nervous but the defense was fun!  Committee asked me questions after but didn’t feel like a test, just that they were curious about my work.  We had a big party that night with barbecue I brought from Texas and some of them came!

After my spouse and I watched Wonder Woman (hahaha no movies for us for a while now that my mom is back home), we both couldn’t sleep because we were so riled up and upset.  I’ll say it now: I think it was silly and if you like Zach Snyder films/don’t expect it to be deep or feminist, you’ll enjoy it.  And at least it’s A step in the right direction…I just wish Marvel or Disney had made it and it was feminist and intersectional.  I have some questions (some are serious) and I’d love it if y’all could answer any of them.  SO MANY SPOILERS and also SO MUCH COMPLAINING so feel free to stop reading now.

  1. Why does Hippolyta say “the stronger she gets, the sooner he’ll find her” and “the more she knows, the sooner he’ll find her”?  Like she definitely just finds him when she is not that strong and doesn’t know that much…
  2. Why does Hippolyta snap at Diana “you’re not an Amazon!”
  3. What are the Amazons training for all the time, if they aren’t planning on heading back out into the world?
  4. Maybe I’m not good at reading facial expressions.  What’s going on when Diana unleashes her god power on Antiope?  Antiope is like no go away (why?) and all the Amazons stare at Diana (some kind of message is in this scene but I don’t know what it is).
  5. Does Diana realize anything about her god power when she does that wristlet thing?  What’s going on in her head?
  6. Why does Hippolyta tell Diana that she can never come back?  Steve and those German dudes all seemed to find Themyscira just fine.
  7. Not a question I just loved the dialogue in the boat about sleeping together.  That’s got the O.C./Sex and the City/Grey’s Anatomy written all over it.   Let’s have this person write all the dialogue.
  8. Where does Wonder Woman’s outfit come from (versus the simple leather thing she had on the island, and the suit she buys with Etta)?  [I’m totally okay with this magical outfit appearing I’m just including it for completeness.]
  9. Why would Diana give her sword and shield (2 of 3 most valuable Amazon treasures) to Etta whom she just met?
  10. Why doesn’t Steve let her go hang out with the baby?  Babies!  Why am I asking if a man “lets” Wonder Woman do anything?
  11. Why does Diana follow Steve around London when the baddies are following them?  Her physical obedience to him in general is confusing given how often she verbally questions him.
  12. Clearly Diana is winning the fight with the baddies, so why give the slow motion effect to a wimpy Steve punch?
  13. Another not question: I love the line “there’s a woman in here” and everyone shuts up.  Quite funny.
  14. WHY DOES STEVE RIP THE BOOK OUT OF DIANA’S HAND THAT SHE IS TRANSLATING???? WHY DOESN’T SHE FINISH TRANSLATING IT????? She’s the only person who can, it has vital enemy information, and zero percent does anyone care??????????  This drives me nuts.  Knowledge is powerful too, not just rushing off and fighting.
  15. In the bar Samir makes a joke about an island full of women who look like Diana.  But wouldn’t you be terrified of going to a mysterious island full of one gender which is not yours?  Like 95% sure you would die.
  16. Why doesn’t Diana help the horse?  It would take her 5 seconds but they tell her that she has to keep moving?
  17. Why does Dr. Poison not talk?  She’s supposed to be a big baddie right?  What’s her story?  And what’s up with the mask?  She has a scar on her face, so what?  I was hoping she’d look like Two-Face from Batman but instead she’s just a beautiful person with a scar.
  18. More on Dr. Poison- is the idea that Steve is flirting with her and then she gets real jealous when he looks at Diana?  That seems… dumb.  Women don’t just exist relative to men, but maybe the (all-male) writing team doesn’t know that.
  19. What’s the deal with the strength gas?  It makes a mortal as strong as a god?   Dr. Poison should be selling that!  Or at least giving it to the troops.  Or herself.
  20. Why is Charlie in the party?  I’m confused by his whole character, a sharpshooter who can’t shoot.  I think he’s there to show some aspect of Diana’s character development, but what aspect I cannot say- she already looked at the soldiers coming back from the front with sad eyes.
  21. Speaking of the party, quibble, why no women?  There were definitely women in WWI and also this is a fictional universe…
  22. What are the rules to Diana’s jumping?  Why do the dudes need to hold up a piece of metal for her to jump off of?
  23. What does Diana see in Steve?  I see a guy who interrupts her all the time and refuses to explain anything to her or answer her questions.  Not sexy.  That said, sex is fun so I’m totally down with her being like oh let’s try a fun thing!  Actual dialogue in my house: “Would you like to have sex?” “You could be more subtle, honey” “No, no I cannot.  Subtlety is not some magical thing that women are born with.”  She gives him the “bedroom eyes” but why would she know about those [I’m saying they are cultural rather than innate].
  24. Okay so I’m down with the sex, but why does she “love” this dude?  Enough to realize her god-powers.
  25. Why doesn’t D kill L at High Command?  See 11 and 20.
  26. Also what are the rules for god powers?  Ares killed all the gods, Diana is the god-killer, they have a big old fight but I’m not sure what’s possible and what’s not so the fight is nonsensical.
  27. Why is killing Dr. Poison a test?  Diana has definitely killed dozens of soldiers during this movie.  Are their lives worth less than the mastermind?
  28. What’s the symbolism/message of Dr. Poison’s mask falling off?  Are “ugly” people sad and pathetic or whatever Ares says in that monologue?
  29. Why no women writers?  I like the woman director but the script… I watched this movie two weeks ago and am only now not irked (writing this list-rant  has been very therapeutic thanks blog!)

T-minus 9 Days

30 May

Not for the baby; I had her exactly two months ago.  Here are my kids looking at each other:IMG_20170521_185607481

Sorry to have been gone for a bit longer than I meant, reader.  Baby #2 has been excellent and wonderful, but she is still a baby and so takes a fair amount of work.  But the thing that has been taking a lot of my time is this other thing I’ve been working on/gestating for a few years rather than just nine months:

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I am excited and nervous and mostly exhausted, if you couldn’t tell by my half-assed abstract that I wrote in thirty seconds.  I still have to write the talk, and I’m sending my committee the final draft of my thesis today.  Since it’s been a long time since I’ve given a math talk, I’m doing a practice version next Monday here at UT/clean out my office, then next Wednesday we’re packing up the whole family and flying to Chicago for the big event.  That same day, the photographers are coming to photograph our house, and we’re listing it the next day and having an open house while we’re out of town.  That means that for the past month or so whenever I had a free moment I packed a box of stuff and put it in the attic (or napped).  So… it’s been busy.

 

i’m not too good at doing anything when baby is nursing (as she is now, just started) but i wanted to update y’all and tell you i’m fine, just busy with life things.  after june 8 hopefully house will be sold and they’ll let me graduate so i’ll have more time (but still have a baby).   after spending a week at IAS two weeks ago TAing a class while nursing a baby, i have some more thoughts on self-doubt and ambition.  but that’ll wait.  also a series of posts on my thesis forthcoming!

Am I racist?

22 Mar

The first answer to the title question is yes, of course I have benefited from institutional structures designed to benefit people who live in certain areas (aka people who can get loans/aren’t pushed into or away from those neighborhoods)- I got a decent education at public schools, I could walk safely to school, I even got a free bus (thanks Minnesota!) for my gifted math program which was primarily white/Asian, I’ve never interacted with a police officer or any authority figure because my race etc. etc. etc.  I’ve also, you know, not had the luxury of having people of my ethnic background reflected in almost any of the media I consumed as a kid/teenager/even adult (I happened to be the right age for the Yellow Ranger to be Vietnamese though!), and get to read articles like this all the time.

Tangent: I know it’s a trope that Asian-Americans hate being asked “where are you really from?” but either a) that hasn’t happened to me much or, more likely, b) I don’t personally feel other-ed by the question and I like telling people I’m from Minnesota and my parents were from Vietnam, because the conversation generally leads to me raving about Minnesota and/or Vietnam (I am sometimes a forceful conversationalist) or bemoaning the pity that many white people don’t get to have that strong ancestry connection (I am subtle).  That said I did go to a 45% Asian high school and we all knew everyone’s ethnic backgrounds; I can definitely imagine being more sensitive about this issue if I hadn’t had that experience of it not being weird to be not-white (like, if I’d stayed in MN for high school).

Anyways, this post is inspired by an experience I had the other night with my spouse, when we went to a Duke alumni event to watch the Duke-South Carolina game, and I commented that one player looked like a kid to me.  I’m going to refer to these 18-20 year olds as “kids/children” throughout the post for reasons that will become clear, though they are adults.

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“Kid” in question, Grayson Allen from the Duke website

Spouse agreed that this 21-year-old player has a very young looking face.  As the game went on, I unhappily noticed that I kept thinking the white players on the team look like kids to me, while the black players do not.  On the way home I asked spouse if he thought I’m being racist, and his immediate reaction was to recoil (people really hate being called racist!) and defend me against myself, and we went through the Duke roster and decided that all the players photos (except Sean Obi) look pretty young when they have their big goofy smiles on (Sean Obi doesn’t show teeth in his picture, which immediately cuts down on potential goofiness).  Then I told spouse about the 2014 study (I thought everyone knew about this) which showed that white male police officers and white female undergraduates overestimate the ages of black boys and view them as less innocent; here’s an excerpt from The Atlantic summary on the study:

The general population respondents overestimated the boys’ ages in felony situations by 4.53 years, meaning that “boys would be misperceived as legal adults at roughly the age of 13 and a half.” The police had a slightly wider spread: 4.59 years. The college students were also less likely to judge black boys innocent in the presented scenarios once they were 10 years of age of older. At every age level after 10, black boys were considered less innocent than either white or unspecified children.

Of course this played out the next year with the murder of 12-year-old Tamir Rice, and so this study and that murder were on my mind as I was watching the basketball game and afterwards.  I think the study also says that police underestimate white boys’ ages by about a year, which echoed again in the stupid 32-year old man Ryan Lochte shenanigan at the Olympics:

Let’s give these kids a break. They made a mistake. It’s part of life. Life goes on.

Anyways, after some discussion (I’m still convinced that I’ve internalized some of the ‘black boys look older’ crap), we decided there were a bunch of factors at play in my assessment of the kids looking like kids or adults: 1) facial hair (the one white guy with facial hair doesn’t look like a kid to me; many of the black teammates have facial hair), 2) # of active players (more black than white), 3) some people just look the same for twenty years, starting when they’re 20, 4) it’s hard to look at a 7 foot tall person and think of them as a kid, 5) I don’t know what young black men look like.  So 1-4 are pretty self-explanatory, and for 5 I met two black kids before I was 14 (I think they were both adopted), knew a handful in high school, and did a crap job having diverse friends in college (I still do a crap job of this in my segregated city) and graduate school (I’ve met literally three black male grad students in math in my seven years of grad school; I know more black women thanks to EDGE, many of whom were featured in Mathematically Gifted and Black).

An irony of this whole incident is that we were watching with a bunch of class of 2016 black women who DEFINITELY looked like kids to me.  So when I first told spouse about my concern re: racism and over-estimating black ages, he incredulously thought I was referring to those young women (it’s taking some effort for me not to write “girls” here; thanks advisor!).

So what’s my conclusion?  As usual, I will leave you unsatisfied and say I don’t have one- the issue is nuanced; I don’t make good sound bites; I’m a little racist and I’m working on it (you probably are too and you should also work on it).

Oh!  I almost forgot that I wanted to tell you that I’m 39 weeks pregnant today!  Here’s a picture of me:

It’s been awhile since a math post… so maybe when I’m nursing my newborn I’ll try to write a post about my thesis (oooh exciting!)  See you then!

On eponyms

7 Mar

I recently listened to two episodes of a podcast which were entirely dedicated to eponyms.  That first episode of the Allusionist was cute and fun, referring to how British people call pens “Bics” or “Biros”, while this second episode is a bit darker and has to do with medical terminology.  For instance, by this point “Downs syndrome” has entered popular culture and so even as the medical community starts calling it Trisomy 21 (fun fact my first prenatal test with this pregnancy came back with a high risk of Trisomy 21 so I took a second genetic test which cleared me), it’s unclear if it’ll ever change in our minds.  But why should medical conditions be named after generally egotistical men who “discovered” them?  I think it’s ridiculous that Braxton-Hicks contractions are named after this English dude who “discovered” them in 1872, while women have been having false or practice contractions LITERALLY FOREVER.

This comes up a fair bit in math, as we like to name things after people but then later change the name to make more sense OR vice versa.  For instance, “Outer Space” is actually written as CV_n(X) which stands for Culler-Vogtmann space even though everyone says “outer space” aloud.  Funnily in that article I just linked Vogtmann writes it as \mathcal{O}_n but I haven’t seen anyone else write it that way.  Another funny one is right angled Artin groups, which were originally called “graph groups” but now everyone says “raags”.  Incidentally this is a great introduction to RAAGS (sometimes written raAgs).

Some spaces don’t have any alternative names and should.  The one I’m thinking of now is Teichmüller space– every day dozens of mathematicians and physicists refer to this space and the accompanying theory, which feels like we’re honoring Teichmüller.  This is not a person whom I particularly want to honor every day, but like the Downs syndrome problem I doubt we’ll be able to change the name to “complex structure space” or “marked surfaces space”.  I didn’t know any of this stuff about Teichmuller until reading a wonderful interview of Autumn Kent by Evelyn Lamb.  Here’s a pull quote; most of it is Autumn and the Note is by Evelyn.

There is a dangerous amount of tolerance of intolerable people in academia based on the principle that we are all dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge and beauty and that a person’s academic work makes them a person worthy of mutual respect. This principle is wrong.

Bers famously quoted Plutarch in defense of his admiration for Teichmueller’s work: “It does not of necessity follow that, if the work delights you with its grace, the one who wrought it is worthy of your esteem.” This is of course true, but Teichmueller was still a piece of sh*t and if he were alive today I would not be his friend on Facebook. [Note: Oswald Teichmueller (1913-1943) was a German mathematician and literally a card-carrying Nazi. As a student, he organized a boycott of Edmund Landau, a Jewish math professor at the University of Göttingen. He was killed fighting for the Third Reich in World War II.] I would not invite him to an academic conference. The pursuit of knowledge and beauty is admirable, but it should not be undertaken at the expense of the bodies and souls of marginalized people. If my work would result in violence I would abandon it.

There are a LOT of goodies in that interview and I highly, highly recommend it.  In fact I wrote this entire post just to share this interview with you, but I snuck it in via eponyms (and also I’ve been having a lot of practice contractions lately and wanted you to know.  Due date is March 29!)

Some people I admire

1 Mar

When I was applying to the magnet program of my public high school, I had to write an essay on “My Hero.”  I’ve never been much of a hero-worshiper, so I wrote about myself (yes, I have always been this awesome and modest).  In retrospect maybe this means I didn’t have too many role models as one of two Vietnamese kids in my school, and a math nerd to boot, but of course at the time I took it as a source of pride that I only looked up to myself (and secretly my parents, but the 13-year-old who writes an essay about looking up to their parents is a far more mature one than I was).  I have always found it difficult to admire/like people that I don’t know in person, because you never know if you’ll get the feeling that someone likes to kick puppies in their spare time until you have a face-to-face conversation with them.  So Melinda Gates, for instance, will not be appearing in this blog post.

I admire all of these people, and I want you to know about them too because they are all going places or are already places.  This is a very incomplete list in no particular order, and also I count all of these people as personal friends.  This post was inspired by Mathematically Gifted and Black.

Moon Duchin– Moon has been all over the news lately because of this awesome gerrymandering workshop she’s co-organizing this summer at Tufts, to prepare mathematicians to be expert witnesses in legal cases (they’re working with lawyers).  Here’s the interview and article from Chronicles of Higher Ed [Note: yes, it’s standard in Chronicles of Higher Ed to refer to profs by Ms./Mr./Mrs. and yes, many of us skimmed several random articles to check that].  It’s so big, there’s a meta-article about it on Snopes with “geometric group theory” in the title!  So Moon Duchin is a name you should know.  She’s also extremely dedicated to mentorship-she was part of the team that started the Directed Reading Program at UChicago, which now exists in at least a dozen schools, she’s extremely approachable to Tufts students, and she goes above and beyond with research clusters, minicourses + conversations, and still manages to do lots of cool research.  I’m a big fan.  Fun fact: when I cut my hair short I didn’t know how to style it, so I texted Moon for help (she was helpful).

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I didn’t want to post a pic of a friend without permission so I’m posting a pic of myself.

Piper Harron– Piper blew up the math world two years ago with her thesis, a testament to her journey through mathademia and astute observations of her own experiences.  We first started talking when I posted an emo post about that thesis, and I’ve been reading her powerful words since then, especially through the election.  Here’s her blog.  Piper’s honesty, directness, and way of wielding words like a sword to cut straight to your heart and the heart of the matter at hand all make for a nigh-poetic reading experience, but the matter at hand (often math culture, American culture, oppression) is so heavy and concrete that we are brought to earth, crashing hard.  See, I do not wield words like a sword, and Piper would’ve written that sentence way better than me.  Fun story: at IAS last year Moon and I ran a discussion on intersecting identities and I TOTALLY crashed and burned trying to explain intersectionality with a raft metaphor (I am not going to try to explain it here), and Piper rescued me.

Here’s a video (and transcript if you don’t like watching videos) with pizza as a metaphor for intersectional feminism:

My Khanh Ngo: MK is a classmate of mine from Yale, and while I’ve been spending the seven years since we graduated on this Ph.D. and making babies, she’s been tirelessly fighting for social justice through immigration law and reform.  She also introduced me to takoyaki so she obviously makes this list.  My Khanh has also been in the news lately as one of the writers of the ACLU Darweesh vs. Trump case, and she just published a piece on Feministing about another project she’s involved with, the Immigrant Bail Fund.  Just in case you aren’t sure about where to donate to benefit your LOCAL COMMUNITY (or national), she’s sent out a link to a google doc with a great list. Here’s a preview of her TV debut on Frontline:

Ivuoma (Ivy) Onyeador: Ivy was the year below me at Yale and a Bouchet Fellow, which like the Mellon fellowship supports undergrads who want to join academia.  They definitely got their money’s worth with Ivy- she’s heading back to Yale as a postdoc in the fall after defending her social psychology thesis this spring!  Ivy is also a social media maven (the link for her name above is to her Facebook profile) AND she co-hosts one of my favorite podcasts, The Get.  One thing I love about this podcast is that Ivy and Rhiana are often calling each other in and accepting that getting to equality/social justice is a journey.  For instance, they apologize on the podcast about inadvertently being trans-exclusive or heteronormative.  They’re still miles ahead of me on the journey to wokeness (maybe I’m behind on the terms now, based on this article from LAST YEAR in the NYT by Amanda Hess who can join my Melinda Gates list).

Ellen Junn: Ellen is the president of California State University, Stanislaus (aka Stanislaus State), which is AWESOME and well-deserved.  We first met in 2006 when she was my alum interviewer for Princeton.  During the interview she told me that she always takes the students who get in out for lunch to talk about Princeton and their plans for undergrad.  I did not go to Princeton, but I emailed her anyway and she took me to lunch anyway, and has been doing so for over ten years.  She also went to University of Michigan for undergrad, which is where my best friend Denise Ding went, so she’s also mentored Denise through our journeys.  Back then she was a professor in psychology at Cal State Fullerton, then she moved to Fresno as associate provost, then to San Jose, Dominguez Hills, and finally Stanislaus as she climbed the ladder.  Throughout all of it, she’s shown dedication to mentorship, community, and students, and I can personally attest to that- she even called me in 2012 when I was freaking out about grad school to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of academia.

Brittani Nichols: B is another social-media maven (here’s her twitter, instagram, youtube of her webseries, and two podcasts and also her imdb page).  We met senior year of college and became friends pretty quickly.  I’m very enthusiastic about all the people featured in this list but I can unambigiously say that B is the coolest person I know (though my cousin, a producer of Dear White People, comes close).  I’ve watched B over the past seven years endlessly working to make it in an industry that doesn’t exactly love black lesbians.  I admire her gung-ho-ness, sharp and quick-witted sense of humor (she is a writer first, as seen by her articles on Autostraddle), and extremely strong sense of self which we all felt in college and still feel now.  She’s definitely an up and comer- I didn’t even know until going to her IMDB page that she was on Transparent!  And her film Suicide Kale has won a bevy of awards.  Once she turned down a Thanksgiving invitation from me to go to a famous person’s house, and she told me that it was for her career and she would’ve rather had my Vietnamese-American turducken instead.

Evelyn Lamb: Last but certainly not least is my fairy blogmother and friend who is a  freelance mathematical journalist.  She’s published on so many websites at this point it’s hard to keep track, but each month you can get an update from her (I do!) via email list.  I think we met via twitter, where she’s often promoting young mathematicians like me, and keeping us all up to date on math news.  Then we met in person at a math conference, and a few times since then.  I’m a big fan.  You should read Evelyn’s work if you haven’t already.  I’m tired now so she gets the worst blurb of all, but I’ve written about her before so hopefully that makes up for it.

Phew!  Eight months pregnant with a horrible cold and I still very slowly wrote a blog post!  Huzzah!  Back to bed (I am surrounded by tissues and pedialyte right now) for me.  Hope you enjoyed this list!

CALL TO ACTION + I am so tired and it’s only been a week

31 Jan

I have several very cool Facebook friends and before my woe-is-me post below I thought I’d let you know about some things that they are doing.

First, you may have heard that the ACLU filed a complaint re: Trump’s executive order banning people from certain countries.  On page 18 of that complaint you’ll see my friend My Khanh’s name (so proud of her!) as one of the law interns in the suit.  Here’s what she has to say:

Thank you so much everyone for the outpouring of support. Please, in addition to donating to ACLU, PLEASE remember to support local community-based organizations and those providing direct services like the International Refugee Assistance Project (IRAP) which has been providing heroic efforts on the ground scene at JFK to stop deportations, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) which has been tirelessly responding to calls for help from here and abroad, the National Immigrant Law Center, Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project, IRIS, Make the Road…there are SO many organizations fighting the good fight out there. And it involves so much more than typing behind a computer and filing a few papers in court (although that does seem to work sometimes too!).

Next, if you’re a mathematician or know mathematicians, you might be able to help my friend, math writer extraordinaire Evelyn Lamb help us:

Mathematicians: if you or a mathematician you know are affected by the executive order on immigration and want to talk to me about it in my role as a writer, feel free to email: rootsofunityblog at gmail. I may be writing about it and would be happy to hear your story, whether you would be willing to be named in the piece or not. This post is public. Please share, either here or over email, with people who might be interested.

Speaking of math, the American Mathematical Society put out a statement condemning the EO yesterday.  But there’s more that mathematicians can do, and another friend and professor at Tufts, Moon Duchin has this 5-day gerrymandering summer school working with lawyers:

Worried about gerrymandering? This August I’ll be running a summer school to train mathematicians as expert witnesses for redistricting cases. We’re bringing together legal experts, GIS experts, and more. If there’s enough demand, we’ll run regional trainings around the country. Please spread the word… Geometry of Redistricting Summer School

Probably/hopefully many of you my readers have already been trying to call your representatives about various issues.  As a die-hard liberal I’ve been using Daily Action for what to say each day.  Also, my representatives (Ted Cruz, John Cornyn, Roger Williams) are SUPER HARD to get in touch with (voicemails always full!  Hang-ups because all staffers are already busy!) but email is not a good way to contact your rep. Inspired by a tweet from Jordan Ellenberg:

I’m trying to do an in-between and writing a page a day and faxing it in to their offices.  I can’t tell you how desperate/triumphant/sad/happy I felt when I got this:

success  I felt like maybe, possibly, someone in our government is having a harder time ignoring me.

Finally, for a morale boost, here’s my friend Piper Harron telling us to adapt to the new normal:

i’ve seen people say that the point of the ban was chaos. either to distract us from something shadier trump is doing now, or to fatigue (or over-stress) us against acting when trump does something shadier later. fine. but what am i supposed to do with that? am i supposed to not protest and freak out when trump is messing with people’s lives? am i supposed to not talk about it? i don’t understand. what is the advice attached to these warnings?

we were so worried about trump being normalized, but maybe our resistance needs to be. maybe we need to accept this new normal. trump is going to keep attacking us. and we have to keep responding, but we have to be in it for the long haul. we cannot allow ourselves to get fatigued. maybe that means finding a way to make the necessary calls, to make the necessary donations, to go to protests, not because we are angry or scared or fired up and ready to go, but because that is who we are now.

and maybe most of us should stop trying to figure trump out. for me personally, all i get out of worrying about where we’re headed is stress and inefficiency. i’m not in a position to get ahead of trump, and i’m not fleeing the country because of speculation. as someone who dabbles with anxiety, i can tell you that there is no benefit to living with alarm bells blaring and no mechanism for turning them off. so, time for a manual override. a recalibration. trump is not normal, but his attacks on our rights and ideals will be the norm for as long as he is president.

in other words, keep calm and defend freedom with all your might.

Do you remember when Black Lives Matter was nascent, and police killings of unarmed black people were dominating our national conversation?  I remember running into this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpVeUVcFMAU then, and realizing that I could not relate/empathize with it but I could sympathize/feel compassion for the audience (black Americans).  And that burden of feeling unvalued by society and feeling that everyone who looks like you is unvalued by society seemed so obvious and so heavy that it takes a tremendous amount of psychological energy to just exist in such a society.

So now we’re a week into the Trump presidency, and Tết was Saturday, which is the New Year for Vietnamese culture and the time that you pay your debts (before New Year’s) and clean your house and prepare for a fresh start with new hope for the new year.  Those two events are very, very at odds with each other and I am not prepared for what a psychological burden it is to have my (ethnic) culture mismatch chronologically with my (national) culture.

Also, I am more prone to anxiety when pregnant so I’ve been having nightmares about being separated from my toddler and about losing one of my kids on a boat (my mom’s family are all boat people) and about my daughter being born in March with some life-threatening condition and not being able to afford her medicine as she grows up, and the usual anxiety-nightmare of running from some evil to find and save my family but I can’t.  Here’s a story in the LA Times about Vietnamese refugees in 1975, when the U.S. did the right thing despite lack of popular support:

A Gallup poll in May 1975 showed that only 36% of Americans were in favor of Vietnamese immigration. Many feared job losses and increased public welfare. Even then-Gov. Jerry Brown sounded alarms about the toll the Vietnamese refugees would take on the state.

And on a sad dark note and what spawned this whole anxiety trip, my cousin posted this on instagram (I do not know the original source):

failure.jpg

The picture on the right looks just like my son when he’s sleeping.

I went to a talk on Sunday and the professor said that the day we don’t allow brave, hopeful people to pack up their things and try a life somewhere new is the day we betray her:

This Dorothea Lange print of Florence Owens Thompson was from the Great Depression; she’s 32 and has just sold the tires off her car to try to get some more food for her seven kids.  Hope is gone.  She’s seeking refuge.  But where is it?

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